FUCK BOYS

I can’t tell if my ex is a fuck boy. We had been together for almost two years. And on March 1st he broke up with me because he didn’t feel free. He wanted to have sex with other people. I guess I should be happy he didn’t cheat on me. I would always talk about our future, and he would brush it off. It turns out he didn’t see me in his future. It seemed like he missed me after about 2 weeks and then a few days after telling me he missed me, his feelings were the complete opposite. He had been with a few other girls (not in a relationship) and because of that his feelings disappeared. I fucking hate that that is why he left me. So he could have sex with other girls. He was planning on leaving me before he went to college anyway. WTF?

My sexual preference

This is a more serious topic. Just like people coming out as gay, it’s hard for my to come out as bisexual. I wouldn’t quite say I am bisexual, but I do like women, not sexually, just emotionally. Recently I cut my hair and shaved half of it. It makes me look like I am a lesbian. I do like it, but I don’t want to feel like a lesbian. I am in a heterosexual relationship. I have always been worried that I like woman because I have always been afraid that my family won’t accept me. I know that they will even if some of them are Christian. My grandmother doesn’t believe in gay rights because of her religion. She really does believe, but because of her religion she is not allowed and she feels as though she is going against her religion. She loves me very much though, and I quite sure if I was fully gay she would accept me.
it’s not so much me being uncomfortable with liking woman, it’s more of me thinking they are attractive when I am in a relationship already. I wouldn’t leave my boyfriend for anyone, not even a woman.

I don’t like my sexual preference being labeled, but I have too if I want to explain to people what my preference is. It’s more of bicurious, but i hate that term. Bisexual means having sexual attractions to both genders. I have only had one sexual attraction to a female, and she was my best friend. We don’t talk anymore, not for that reason, we just grew apart. I also hate being called bisexual. Do I have to be labeled?

Personal drama . . .

The title is misleading. This isn’t a post about me, it’s a post about someone else. I am not complaining about anyone, I just feel bad when someone has to come into class crying because of something that happened in their life.
Maybe it was a choice for them to come in, because they felt bad about missing class. But in general, no one should cry as much as this person. I felt super bad that this person was cry. We are not close friends, but she and i have always been friend, so I gave her a hug.

Saving Betta Fish!

Betta fish are a commonly known pet. When buying a Betta fish, we always see them in cups. If you are a new owner to Betta fish, you may not see the problems. Because of the small living situations, they have many problems. Such as fin rot, pop eye, cloud eye, etc. If we keep buying Betta fish, I would like to see less of them at pet stores, and live in a fish bowl with plants and gravel. They should only be allowed in a cup when being transported from the pet store to home.
When Betta fish lives with their owner, they should live in no less than 2.5 to 3 gallon tanks.
Walmart is guilty of having their Betta fish live in small cups. Picture a styrofoam cup. Take a third of the cup off. That is how much space they have. I would like to see Walmart not being allowed to sell Betta fish. I would like to see people with who take great care of their fish to clean the betta fish bowls at pet stores.

I have a 2 betta fish.

This is my elephant ear betta fish, his name is Sulo. He has pop eye, cloud eye, and fin rot. He is being treated.

This is my rose petal betta, his name is Cas. He has fin rot. He does not have it yet in this picture.

I keep them in good condition and they still have issues. Sulo, lives in a 5 gallon tank, and Cas lives in a 10 gallon. I am guilty of not always keeping their tanks in prime condition because they are big.
Male betta fish should NOT live together. I do not have females, but I have done plenty of research on them. You may have females together, but there may still be aggression. Females living together is called a sorority tank. A minimum of 5 should live together. Females can still show aggression. If a female shows aggression, take her out and put her in a  bowl for a day and rearrange your sorority tank. The reason you do this is so when you rearrange the tank and introduce her to the other girls again, they can reestablish their own territory in the tank. If she continues to show aggression, take her out and give her her own home. HER HOME SHOULD NOT BE THE FISH BOWL. Give her a 2.5 – 3 gallon tank. If you would like to replace the loss of the 5th fish in the sorority tank, take the step of rearranging the tank again, and introduce a new girl to the tank, and to the other girls. You can do this buy placing the bowl that she came in, in the tank for a few minutes. If this does not work out, do not waste your money on buying another girl. A sorority tank may not be a good choice for you. Do not give up though. It could take time to get used to taking care of a sorority tank. Like I said 5 should be the minimum but if 5 does not work out 4 is okay. Having a sorority tank is nice, you have 4 to 5 beautiful betta fish in a tank. You should have experience with a male betta fish before hand, or owning a girl. She needs the same care as a male, but both genders have their own personalities, just like other pets. My betta, Sulo, is a more laid back fish. I think is because he cannot see too well, I also think he is older. Cas is a more aggressive fish, maybe because he can see and is a younger fish. The reason Cas lives in a ten gallon tank is because, I had originally split it, and was trying to have Cas and Sulo be separated in the same tank. Cas knew that Sulo was on the other side, and was constantly flaring his gills and trying to get at Sulo. Sulo didn’t seem to interested, again I think that is because he can’t see too well. I was worried Cas would develop some problems from always trying to get at Sulo. Betta fish can be stressed easily and that is why they develop problems. Cas did develop fin rot, but that was from other issues. We should get into that now.
Bad water quality and fluctuating temperatures can cause all the health issues as well. I am not saying I didn’t take care of him, we had switched between many filters. I finally found a filter that works for my boy. Cas has heavier fins, and because of that, he does not swim as well as Sulo does.  I had to find a filter that would not cause to strong of a current. I tried many brands and styles of filters. I tried the more common filters. And I tried and under gravel filter. That was a fine filter, but I was still medicating Cas for his fin rot. Why do I bring that up? The cartridges that are used for the under gravel filters contain carbon. The carbon gets rid of any impurities in the water . . . such as medication. I was fed up with trying to find filters, and my mother was fed up with buying filters all the time. I do not have a job yet, so I was not able to pay for fish supplies myself. I thought my search for filters was over, because I thought there were no other filters left to try. I did some more research and came upon a sponge filter. HALLELUJAH, I had found my perfect filter. The sponge filter has the water travel through the sponge but leaves all the ickyness attached to the sponge and it filters the cleaner water back into the tank. The nozzle that has the water come out is adjustable so you can turn it and focus the the current in a certain direction. This type of filter pushes water rather than pours the water into the tank. I would highly recommend this kind of filter. All you do is take of the sponge and rinse it. Do not use soap. You may occasionally have to clean out the tube. Sulo on the other hand has a regular filter that pour the water back in and requires new filter cartridges (which are relatively cheap). Sulo has shorter and stronger fins which allows him to swim through the current. There are different sizes of filters for different size tanks. Cas’s fin rot could be due to strong filter currents making him stressed.
On the topic of fluctuating temperatures. I only had one heater for a while because of my plant to put Cas and Sulo in the same tank. When they had to be separated, I had to keep switching the heater between the five gallon and 10 gallon. Though I am pretty sure the heater was meant for a 5 to begin with but I felt bad that Cas did not have a heater. My betta fish love their heaters. They are always sitting behind it because it’s a hiding place and it’s very warm. Cas’s tank temperature would go from cold to warm to cold all the time, which could also result in his fin rot, and possibly Sulo’s eye infection not healing well.
I will soon have a website with more info on betta care, such as medication, food, tank size, etc.

Haven’t Posted In A While

So I haven’t posted in a while, I thought I would answer some questions about myself, that I found on Tumblr.

• 1. Post a picture of you? I think there is one on about me.
• 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Yeah! Not far from 18 myself
• 3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? I usually get along with girls, but my best friend is a guy.
• 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Only if we made eye contact
• 5. Can you commit to one person? Of course!
• 6. How do you look right now? Cute
• 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? A skirt and sweater.
• 8. How often do you listen to music? almost everyday at school.
• 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans
• 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? hahaha, this must be an old post
• 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? antisocial
• 12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I would ask who.
• 13. Are you good at hiding your feelings? NOPE
• 14. Can you drive a stick shift? Nope 😛
• 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? It depends on who it is.
• 16. Are you going out of town soon? No
• 17. When was the last time you cried? yesterday
• 18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes!
• 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Probably to purple if that existed, otherwise I wouldn’t
• 20. Name something you have to do tomorrow? go to school
• 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. School
• 22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Yes
• 23. Are you nice to everyone? Sometimes
• 24. What are you sitting on right now? a chair
• 25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes, I am in a 9 month relationship and have stayed loyal. Mostly because I don’t find anyone else attractive.
• 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yes
• 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my boyfriend
• 28. Do you get a lot of colds? no
• 29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? no, but my dress has.
• 30. Does anyone hate you? Probably
• 31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? My boyfriend
• 32. Do you like watching scary movies?  depends
• 33. Are you a jealous person? yes
• 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 6th grade
• 35. Did you have a dream last night? Yes, but I don’t remember what happened
• 36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Again, my boyfriend
• 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? no
• 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? yes
• 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? probably
• 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? no
• 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? yes
• 42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? no
• 43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? hugging. I just want to hang out with my boyfriend right now
• 44. What’s the best part about school? nothing
• 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? yaaas
• 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? yes
• 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? yes
• 48. Were you single over the last summer? no
• 49. What are you supposed to be doing right now? nothing
• 50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? no

Nymphomaniac

I am gonna rant a bit. So the other day, my boyfriend and I were hanging out, and he tells me this hippie we know has texted him. He had a bit of a sexual relationship with her before I dated him. She had messaged him asking if he was in a committed relationship. He told me that he replied to her saying he was, and she replies back pretty much saying “so your girlfriend would mind if you banged me”(something like that) I kid you not, that is the conversation they had. I don’t quite trust her. 
BUT SERIOUSLY. YOU DON’T GO ASKING SOMEONE IF THEIR GIRLFRIEND WOULD MIND IF YOU AND HIM HAD SEX…….

 

More David Garrett

I am so excited for this month. On October 31st, The Devil’s violinist comes out 🙂 It’s so amazing 🙂 
(German Trailer) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJZEkQsoQ-k
(English Trailer)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCn5DOD6cXE
That will be such a fantastic movie 🙂
Second thing. I will be going to David’s concert in March for my birthday 🙂 An extra person will be joining me this time. My mom will be coming! So it will be my dad, step mom, mom and me! It will be my second time and it will even better than the first. But nothing beats the first time you see a gorgeous man for the first time in person 😉 Here is a picture from The Devil’s Violinist

A Great Live Stream

If you know me, you know I like to talk about music! On 7-26-13, David Garrett did a live stream to help promote his new album “Music”. David is a very  humble man, and very funny. He is not like many artists. David likes to be himself with his best friend and guitarist, Marcus Wolf, who had joined him in the live stream, as well as last year’s. David is not afraid to talk about the subjects that usually don’t come up in a “Question and Answer” video. The subject is sex. He was actually very excited, and wanted to answer odd questions. He swore a lot too, which made a lot of us smile like idiots 🙂
David opened with a smile. Not sure if it was just weird to talk to a camera, or he was happy to be there. Maybe both. He played many songs. His songs always sound the best when it’s just him and Marcus.
There were many things that we as fans were not happy about. It had nothing to do with David or Marcus. They wanted to promote the CD, but there was one thing missing. It was the Press. As fans we could not really change the fact that that was missing. But if you want to attention to go to your CD, you need the press. Another thing. He was willing to answer all questions, even personal ones, or ones that were off topic. There was a guy reading the comments and filtering them, even if they were not inappropriate. David was even disappointed that he did not see any song requests, when many people were in fact asking him to play songs (It was through a chat, that he could answer questions and see the requests).
Over all, it was an amazing live stream and many people I know, as adults felt the need to squeal. I was smiling the whole time, mostly because I saw my crush smiling and laughing.
Thanks for reading 🙂 If you would like to watch the video, and see more pictures here is the link! http://new.livestream.com/livestreamsessions/DavidGarrettMusic and if you want to read another blog here is my friend’s 🙂 http://livingthroughmymusic.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/water-and-metronomes/

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People Annoy Me Sometimes!

That should be a song title!

I thought today should be a complaining day. I hope you all can relate to what I am about to talk about! There are many people in this world, who are vegetarians. I am vegetarian 95% of the time. I eat poultry, no red meat. I eat the occasional meat at my dad’s. I don’t really eat meat at my mom’s because my mom is a “vegan”. She is close to being one. I have no problem with that, I could be a bit healthier. My weight is not a problem, I just don’t eat the best. So my mom comes home with groceries. I ask her if she got milk and Lucky Charms cereal. She said “Yeaaah, I did. It turns my stomach to buy milk and Lucky Charms at the same time”. I won’t get into the milk situation, I don’t want to ruin it for you! But Lucky Charms . . . they are not the healthiest, but you know, I rarely eat them. I probably haven’t eaten them in a year or so. And I hadn’t eaten them that much before. I don’t really mind if my mom says something but when it comes to my sister (she is more religious about vegan life style)…
She calls it “cow’s milk”….It bothers the s*** out of me when she calls it that. When she tells me what I eat isn’t healthy, it bothers me so much. I think I know that what I eat isn’t always healthy. People would like to have that bowl of Ramen, or that bowl of Lucky Charms every once in a while. She is constantly complaining on how “fat” she is. Then she goes and tells me that what I eat is unhealthy…
PEOPLE ANNOY ME SOMETIMES (most of the time)